Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
