I think my vagina is haunted
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
