Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
