Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
