Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
