My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
