evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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