the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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