my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
