4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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