She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
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