I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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