he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
