You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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