Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
