Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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