4 words: hood of his car
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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