Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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