In the future we'll all be gay
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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