Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
