Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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