would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
