You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
