first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
