when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
home. puking in laundry basket.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
