He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
