i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
