did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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