Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
