chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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