so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
