The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
