I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
