i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
