Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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