how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
