Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
