Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
