Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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