Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
