Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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