She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
