Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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