My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
