they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
