Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm at about main and main street
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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