butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Come see our sink grown plant.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
