Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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