We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
