brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
