this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
