listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
